So in a attempt to simplify my life in a least one respect, I mentioned to Sean that I wanted an ipod shuffle for my birthday.  For those of you non-ipod lovers out there, its just the most basic music player they make…no screen, holds lots of music, but only one playlist that you can shuffle (hence the name) and my favorite feature, very few buttons.  I just want to be able to grab it and go on a run or walk or whatever.  It also weighs like an ounce so you barely know its there!

Bree was so wonderful as to grant my request and a pink ipod shuffle showed up a day before my 30th birthday.  I am in the midst of a transition of computers (I won’t bore you with those details) but long story short all my songs are on my old computer.  So I went on iTunes to look for some new songs to add to my collection.  I ended up downloading this hip hop cardio mix which seemed like it may help motivate me to run or something :)  And I never know who sings what songs so iTunes putting together a list for me is again one small way to simplify things. 

This past week I’ve been sick with a random virus and along with it but not connected (I assume) were some neck spasms that were not conducive to working out.  So today was the first day I got to really put my shuffle to work as I took the two kiddos on a walk. 

We were out on our regular path taking in the smell of a fresh day after a night of hard rain, it was cool but muggy and I was just getting into a regular rhythm of my walking when all the sudden I had this complete and utter desire to dance.  The cardio mix has all these songs from the 90s that just took me back in an instant to college date parties, high school sock hops, drillteam camps, random dance parties in the Theta house, and most recently fun weddings.  I seriously was in the middle of suberbia and I wanted to start doing the “roger rabbit” and the “sprinkler” and some token grinding next to my double stroller.  It was one of the more hilarious and ironic moments of my life. 

So I kept walking (ignoring the urge to break it down on Rocky Canyon for all my neighbors to see) and just was having all those fun flashbacks in my head and then out of nowhere, I had this moment of clarity.  The reason I’ve been feeling so out of sorts and just a step or two behind the eight ball so to speak is because somewhere along the way I lost my “groove”.  I’ve been so busy trying to be the best mom, wife, sister, daughter, best friend, Greek Life coordinator, alum group member, etc. and somewhere along the way all that pressure made everything seem not very fulfilling or fun.  I’ve been just going through the motions and trying to keep my head above water and overall just kinda getting by (but not excelling) on every level.   You all know how I am about not being the best at everything I try…it drives me crazy.  I told Sean last night that I just think back to college and wonder where that girl went.  Sure life has changed, but I want that spontaneous, spirited, up for any challenge girl back in my life. 

So in the moment of clarity, I danced…yep in the middle of the neighborhood with old people out walking their dogs watching, with air conditioner men and mailmen passing by watching…I danced.  It wasn’t pretty and not even sensical, but who cares.  I got Bree out of the stoller and she danced too (even though she couldn’t even hear the music).  It was a moment I will never forget. 

My type A personality had successfully buried my spirit…and while I was able to keep everything moving along, I wasn’t the person I wanted to be.  Trying to be in control of everything left me feeling like I didn’t know how to do anything.  Well, not that my dancing in suberbia will suddenly make everything just perfect, but its a start.  I need to not take myself so seriously and more importantly have spontaneous dance parties all the time.

So while the details may have changed, my dancing days are back…

These are now my dancing shoes:

Bauer has dancing shoes too :)

These are now my dancing partners:

Or my cheering audience:

This is now my dancefloor:

This is me with my hair and makeup “done”:

And this is my every constant dj:

And that folks is how Julie got her groove back!